What It Felt to be Leaving 2018?

“Dr, I really thought you’ll say that I have like less than three months to live..”

“Ha ha ha, there is still a long way to go..”

And then I smile, yes indeed, there is a long way to go…

exiting 2018

Last two days, I experienced a real pain on my chest. I have a very sleepless night, I cant move so much and the only position that my chest will be less in pain is when I lay down on my back. The pain worsens up while Im doing my sujood and ruku’, its like being poked and stabbed with a sharp knife. Even breathing in was that painful.

Then on another morning seeing dr is seems the best option. The doctor then explained the cause of that razor-sharp pain in my chest as its happen to be that my muscle got swollen up till I have difficulty in breathing (because my lung expands) or whenever I make any dynamic move. While breathing is okay, it’s just that some muscle in my body got swollen and that’s why I experience the pain.

Its kind of funny actually, on how I thought that I’ve got a heart problem (and nearly coming to the end of my life), because the pain I felt come from my left chest side and the misconception of having a breathing difficulties really put me into a position where I thought I have experienced a minor heart attack. 😅 Silly me tho, alhamdulillah it was not what I expected. And I really thanks to the doctor for helping me understand why and what causes the illness. Alhamdulillah. Life goes on.

فَإِذَا فَرَغْتَ فَانْصَبْ

Kemudian apabila engkau telah selesai (daripada sesuatu amal soleh), maka bersungguh-sungguhlah engkau berusaha (mengerjakan amal soleh yang lain).

-Sura Al-Insyirah, Ayah 7

My 2018 was another… Well, some of the great year I ever have. I’ve planned but Allah the Best Planner. Never that I know 2018 will happen to be the BIG WHY for me to strive harder than before for Allah Mercy.

I messed something up and left me in a place of where my position at the office at stakes. It put me in a very complex and difficult situation, it questions about my integrity, my credibility and so on. It affects not only me but also the people around me.

For the first time on the several years, I have time to reflect myself even deeper than before. At the moment in the search for the answer, this questions finally strikes me:

Did I do every of this for people attention and affection or DO I DO THIS FOR THE SAKE OF ALLAH?

Allahu rabbi. At that time I realize it crystal clear that I’ve been doing it the wrong way all this time. I crave for people attention more than Allah attention. Allahu. I’m in a serious sickness that finally Allah send His Warning by taking what I love the most – the team trust.

If Allah had taken all the things that I have now, to Whom shall I return?

Of course to Allah right?

Alhamdulillah for Allah Mercy, for guiding me especially on the sense of making my heart stay sensible in this path.

وَعَسَىٰ أَن تَكْرَهُوا شَيْئًا وَهُوَ خَيْرٌ لَّكُمْ ۖ وَعَسَىٰ أَن تُحِبُّوا شَيْئًا وَهُوَ شَرٌّ لَّكُمْ ۗ وَاللَّهُ يَعْلَمُ وَأَنتُمْ لَا تَعْلَمُونَ – 2:216

But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not.

I realize that I have nothing in this world, Allah can take anything I have now because it was never been mine from the first place. My family that I love, my company that I work so hard, my team member trust, Allah can take that all of that from me. At the end, what’s left is only me and Allah.

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That was indeed the most powerful lesson I’ve learned in 2018. And for 2019 I have so much to look forward with. And this blog was in the to-do list. I’ll rearrange some things and maybe a ‘major’ thing, Bismilillah, and with Allah Will.

And yeah im still in the same company to work harder to gain those trust that I have betrayed (mcm buku fiction pula – lols). Oh dear reader, please pray for me key?

I believe doesn’t matter what happens in your life, whether you doing wrong things or doing something was not on your will, DO NOT skip praying. Allah selalu dengan kita, kita jak selalu jauh kan? Hu hu.

It’s never late for me to say, Happy New Year my dearest reader. May Allah granted all your prayer.

Why wish upon a star if you prayer will be answer by Allah anyway?

Keep the positives vibes and till then have a nice and wonderful day.

Welcome Into Bookish World

  • I need to admit that I found Donatella perspective was way too adventerous compared to Scarlett. 😇 #legendary #stephaniegarber .
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I keep forgetting about whom is whom from Caraval and I feel a little bit lost learning where Dante comes from 😂 Hence I put Caraval on my next list just to recap what actually happen. .
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As the lovey dovey thing I prefer Tella dilemma in choosing love rather than Scar. .
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Q: #teamTella or #teamScar?
  • Akhirnya aku membaca buku ini dipandu emosi diluar kewarasan. 
Rare species yang amat, one of its kind. Never in my life I stumble into this kind of reading. .
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Tak tahu nak nangis atau nak ketawa. 😂
  • All time fave local book. Bits of Heaven by Aishah Madidiy. This is one of a few english novel that I owned, written by a local Malaysian. Hooked me on the very first chapter and the very reason why I decide to write my blog wholly in english. .
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"Akeed's dauntless journey explored every aspect of journalism, philosophy and religion. The book is an interesting read for those who yearn for something with different twist"
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I remember that I dont get bored easily on every chapter as it was a very light reading. Some says that Aishah Madidiy could be the next Hlovate (some says laa). 💖
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Q: Have your read any Aishah Madidiy books yet? What do you think of it? Im kinda sad will I get the copy again as JS already close down. 
For #bookendsmy #merdeka2k18bookchallenge
  • My most anticipated books will/already published on 2018 🎉😎
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✔A Court of Frost & Starlight by SJM - following my dearest Rhysand whereabout 😂
✔Legendary by Stephanie Garber - hopefully I could get a glimpse of that mind reading dress on Tella and the mastermind behind the circus (ok I need to read the book back cause my memory begin to fade out) ❌Wildcard by Marie Lu - of course as a gamer in between I must have this book into possesion
❌ A Thousand Perfect Notes by C.G Drews - the debut of the hilarious talented book blogger Paper Fury had comes into pieces? Who did not want to be tame by this dark magic right? .
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I have planned that if I get all these books this year then I can start my book banned scheme successfully, till then I just need to pile up my TBR books a bit high more. .
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What is your most anticipated books this year? .
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Notes : ✔ (got it) | ❌(pending)
  • "Sini kak.." lambainya memanggilku. Aku hanya mampu terdiam kaku. Suasana sangat sunyi ketika itu sehinggakan aku boleh dengar degupan jantungku sendiri. - Syif Tengah Malam
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Ajaib sangat aku post benda ni di tgah malam. Tadi bukan main mengigil meskipun dibaca kala pagi. Sorry sgt dgn gambar gaya-gaya kiut tak menunjukkan keseraman langsung. .
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Sumpah seram sbb intimate sangat cerpen-cerpen dalam ni dengan aku, bukan sebab aku kerja kat hospital tapi sebab kawan aku yang kerja di hospital pernah cerita benda yang sama pernah terjadi. Jadi kaitan dia tu mmg sgt berkaitlah. Sebijik sama! .
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Rekomen terhadap pencinta paranormal/benda asing/entiti sebab ada sesuatu tentang penulisan amatur ini yang perlu dijadikan pedoman. .
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4/5🌟
Soalan : Kisah seram bikin ketagih kan? Serupa samyang 😂
  • I've been tagged by @eiyafarihah to do the #bareyourbookshelf tag. So lets go ✌😎 .
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📚 A BOOK YOU OWN BUT HAVEN'T READ ➡ There is so much but let me feauturing Aku Arkitek Jalanan by Teme Abdullah
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📚A BOOK YOU BOUGHT FOR THE COVER ➡NAMAMU and its white. 😍
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📚A BOOK PUBLISHED THIS YEAR ➡Warcross by Marie Lu
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📚A BOOK FROM AN AUTHOR YOU'VE NEVER READ BEFORE
➡ Truthwitch by Susan Dennard
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📚A BOOK FROM AN AUTHOR YOU LOVE
➡ A Court of Frost & Starlight by SJM
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📚A BOOK AT THE BOTTOM OF YOUR TBR PILE
➡ Sindrom by Tey Marzuki
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📚A BOOK SET SOMEWHERE YOU'VE WANTED TO VISIT
➡ Tokyo as describe in Warcross by Marie Lu 😍 the neon light etc
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Thanks for tagging me and feel free to do this #bareyourbookshelf tag!
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Also for #junebookchallenge2k18 by #bookendsmy [11] Your Favourite Film Adaptation.